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Welcome to Musalaha’s website. May you share our vision to see reconciliation between Israelis and Palestinians first among believers and then to those of interfaith communities as you browse through our pages. We hope that you will be informed and encouraged as you see the fruits of the work of Musalaha. Peace from Jerusalem. To watch our Introduction Presentation Video,  Click here.
 

The Art of Listening

The historical narrative of a people is the storytelling of the historical past of the people. It is   a reflection of reality as seen by these people. Other historical narratives may include the same historical events but seen from a different reality, a different perspective.  In areas of conflict, a narrative tells the story of how the conflict was caused by the other side, how our actions are justified as self-defense and how the other people continue to violate our basic rights. Since the narrative paints its own people as heroic victims fighting evil, it is used as a powerful tool to motivate the people and the international community to fight on behalf of the people. The narrative is constantly repeated everywhere in schools, media and conversations and has become imprinted in the minds of the people to such an extent that it is perceived as historical truth and often mistaken for history. Although a historical narrative does contain historical facts, it only gives a subjective, selective one-sided perspective of the whole truth.

This was very obvious at our recent women's conference in Cyprus. At the beginning of the conference, we divided the 40 women into two groups, Israelis and Palestinians. Then we asked the Israelis to present the Palestinian narrative and the Palestinians to present the Israeli narrative.  Both groups struggled to detach themselves from their own narrative and as they tried to tell the story from the perspective of the other side, some members constantly blurted out " we can't say that, it is not the truth" while other members tried to explain "it may not be our truth but it is their truth and we have been asked to present their truth, whether we agree with it or not". Many of the women realized that their knowledge of the other’s narrative is very limited and so is their knowledge of history because they are only used to hearing their own narrative.  Through their narrative they have only obtained a partial picture of the truth about the history of their people and about the conflict. In their search for truth, they have a challenged to check the historical accuracy of their own narrative which may result in having to modify the narrative. Changing your own truth is a difficult challenge and for some this is a shocking realization.

As I listened to the historical narratives of the Israelis and the Palestinians, it struck me that the two narratives are a hindrance to reconciliation because they are based on two very different foundations. This difference results in many misunderstandings in Israeli-Palestinian conversations because the people are speaking from different perspectives and therefore really having two different conversations.

The Israeli narrative is primarily based on theological interpretations of the Torah and the Bible, interpretations which are often repeated by religious Jews, secular Jews and Messianic Jews when the subject of the conflict is raised. It is said that in reconciliation and peace efforts, participants need some common ground that draws the participants together and gives them a reason to commit to the reconciliation process. Among believers, the factor that unites us is our faith in Jesus Christ as our savior. It is therefore we call the first stage in the reconciliation process, the halleluiah stage. This is the stage where we come together as Israelis and Palestinians because we are brothers and sisters and we believe that God commanded us to love each other and to seek peace with each other. Our faith is also our comfort zone that reunites us when other issues threaten to divide us. However, it seems to me that when we talk historical narrative, our faith threatens to become a stumbling block because different interpretations of the Bible cause us to exclude each other, not include each other. To distance ourselves from each other, not reconcile with each other. I often hear believers on both sides saying that we should not deal with issues relating to the conflict, our only focus should be our faith and we will be reconciled. But when we have different theological interpretations we are not able to reconcile without working through them and coming up with a theology of reconciliation. As humans we are not able to detach ourselves from the conflict around us. We are caught up in the narrative of our own people, we are caught up in the theological interpretations, we are caught up in the power play and the feelings of anger, pain, blame and guilt. They don't just disappear because we are believers; they still very much affect our behavior, actions and reactions. I see this every time believers meet and we saw it again at this conference as each side claimed to hold the whole truth. As we started our discussion, blame became the focal point. As one participant said "It is important to discuss the issues that relate to the conflict because it builds a foundation that won't shake when something happens"

The Palestinian narrative is based on the victim mentality and the search for justice.   The Palestinian people have suffered great pain and loss throughout the Israeli-Palestinian conflict and continue to suffer and as one Israeli participant said "the Palestinian suffering is greater and more acute than the Israeli suffering”.  But there are victims on both sides in a conflict and the pain of both sides needs to be recognized. Remaining in a victim mind-set is very paralyzing and provokes a need to blame someone for your pain. It also prevents you from listening to the sufferings of the other side.

During our discussions, almost all the women expressed pain and suffering in their life caused by the conflict. As we listened to the personal testimonies of hardship, the women started asking each other "what do you need from me in order to soften your pain?"  We often hear the words blame, guilt, apology, repentance, forgiveness and maybe we have become too focused on these concepts because as we asked the question, that we should have asked a long time ago, not one woman said that she needed an apology or for someone to admit guilt and ask for forgiveness. All that the women asked each other to do was to listen. Listen to my pain, my suffering, my truth, my narrative. And accept it as my pain, my suffering, my truth and my narrative.  You don't have to agree with it but accept it as mine.  One woman used the metaphor of having a headache. It is not very helpful when every time you tell someone that you have a headache, the answer is always "so do I". Sometimes you just want someone to say" that is awful. I am so sorry that you are not feeling well. I hope that you will feel better soon". You just want compassion.  We are so caught up in our zero-sum mentality of win-lose and blaming each other for our sufferings that we forget to show compassion. This weekend the women committed themselves to really listen to each other's story. Not to argue or agree, but to listen and respect.